Finding Mentors 101: Connect with People Who Inspire You
- Easing Yourself In, Mindset and Habits
- August 30, 2024
Ever thought mentorship was just for climbing the career ladder? Think again. Just as we seek mentorship in our professional lives, it’s equally essential to find mentors when exploring new hobbies, traveling to new destinations, or working on any kind of personal development.
I’ve had over a dozen mentors supporting me, and I always make it a point to seek out more experienced individuals who can offer me new perspectives. That’s why I’m always surprised when people tell me they’ve never had a mentor. According to an article by Harvard Business Review, 76% of people sees high value in mentors, while only 37% of them have a mentor.
seeMore often than not, they misunderstand what mentorship really is. Mentorship is not a one-way relationship where an all-knowing teacher imparts wisdom to a clueless student. It’s an exchange—a relationship where both the mentor and mentee contribute, learn, and grow. As mentees, our job is to push ourselves, learn, and bring value to the table, while the mentor provides guidance, encouragement, and support.
In this blog, I will make sure I provide examples of finding mentors for both professional and personal pursuits. Let’s dive in.
Find Mentors Where Mentors Are
Finding mentors may seem like a daunting task, but the key is surprisingly simple: go to the places where potential mentors are likely to be. Once you’re in the right environment, opportunities to connect with the right people will start to arise.
Work Life
In your career, finding a mentor is often about showing up in the right spaces. If you’re looking for a civil engineering mentor, for example, attend industry conferences, participate in workshops, or join professional associations where these engineers are likely to gather. You’re far more likely to meet a potential mentor in environments that foster learning, networking, and professional growth.
Nowadays, there are also a plethora of mentorship platforms where you can connect with mentors from various industries. I’ve compiled a list here.
It’s about being proactive. Simply showing up and engaging with others in your field can open doors to valuable relationships. Reach out to those you admire, ask questions, and be open to learning from their experiences.
Personal Life
Similarly, finding mentors for personal interests like photography, travel, or fitness follows the same principle: immerse yourself in the community. Want to learn pottery? Take a class, visit exhibitions, or attend local craft fairs. Interested in travel? Join online travel groups, go to meetups, or attend travel talks. The more you engage with people who are passionate about the same things you are, the more likely you are to find someone who inspires you and can guide you in your personal pursuits.
Remember, finding good mentors isn’t about reinventing the wheel—it’s about putting yourself in the right places and being open to the connections that arise. It really is that simple and doesn’t need to be more formal than that.
Look Around You!
The truth is, we are often surrounded by potential mentors. The key is recognizing them and approaching them with a genuine desire to learn, rather than focusing on short-term gains like salary increases or promotions. People are more likely to mentor those who show that they are serious about learning and personal growth, without expecting immediate rewards.
Work Life
At work, you may already be surrounded by potential mentors. Senior colleagues, managers, or even peers who have more experience than you can serve as mentors. If you show that you’re willing to learn, work hard, and prioritize growth over immediate success, you’ll often trigger their natural instinct to help guide you. Most people enjoy mentoring someone who is genuinely curious and driven, especially when that person demonstrates dedication.
Personal Life
If you’re attending a class or workshop and see someone whose skills or experiences you admire, don’t hesitate to strike up a conversation. People who are passionate about what they do often enjoy sharing their knowledge with others who are eager to learn. By showing your enthusiasm and willingness to learn, you may inspire them to take you under their wing.
That’s exactly what happened when I began my dance journey. I struck up a conversation with who became my first mentor and, to this day, a good friend. I told her I’d always wanted to learn Afro dance, but it was a big challenge since I’d never danced before. Months later, she admitted she didn’t believe me at first because so many people just wanted to learn a quick routine for TikTok and never returned. But as I kept showing up and showing my eagerness to learn, she eventually decided to mentor me over the next year.
Mentors Can Be Temporary
A common misconception is that mentorship has to be a long-term commitment, but that’s not always the case. This blog post by The Muse provides good insights about what a mentor is and isn’t. Sometimes, a mentor can guide you in just a single meeting, a brief conversation, or over a cup of coffee. The relationship doesn’t have to be formal or long-term for it to have a lasting impact.
Work Life
In the professional world, mentors don’t always stick around for the entirety of your career. Perhaps you meet someone at a conference who offers you a piece of advice that changes how you approach your work. Or maybe a senior colleague helps guide you through a challenging project, and once it’s done, the mentorship naturally ends. That’s perfectly okay. As a multi-entrepreneur, I can’t even count how many people have influenced my strategies and decision-making, even after only brief interactions. It’s crucial to keep an open mind and stay alert to unexpected advice. It helps you make the most of any short-term mentors who cross your path. Mentorship can be short-lived and still have a profound impact.
Personal Life
In our personal life, temporary mentors are common as well. You might meet a skilled photographer who shares their best tips during a one-day workshop or a seasoned traveler who helps you plan your dream trip. Whenever I am learning something, I always pay attention when I see someone with more experience, so that I can initiate a conversation and learn from them, over a short conversation.
Recently, as I’ve been working on my swimming, I complimented two swimmers on their phenomenal form during separate sessions. Each time, I mentioned I was trying to improve my own form and found theirs inspiring. Both swimmers shared valuable advice, which I applied in my next session and found incredibly helpful. Believe it or not, a lifeguard noticed my eagerness to learn and offered me additional tips the next time I was at the pool.
Being open to help goes a long way—people love to share their passion, and when you invite it, you’ll receive a goldmine of insights. These brief interactions can be extremely valuable, providing guidance and inspiration that you carry forward on your own journey.
Find Mentors You Admire and Who Admire You
When seeking a mentor, look for people you genuinely admire. They don’t have to be wildly successful or at the peak of their career—they just need to be a few steps ahead of where you want to be. A woman I recently mentored, as she worked to build the confidence to launch her startup, told me: ‘I felt comfortable reaching out to you because you don’t seem out of reach. You’re ahead of me in business, but still close enough that it’s not discouraging. I feel like I can do it!’ That’s exactly the mindset you should have when finding mentors.
Work Life
In your career, it’s often helpful to find someone whose success and approach to work resonate with you. This could be a colleague who consistently excels in your field or a leader whose career path you admire. Even if they’re just a few years ahead of you, their experiences can offer valuable lessons.
Ideally, you want to be mentored by people who also admire you for different reasons. While they may be ahead of you in certain areas, remember that you also bring value to the relationship. Don’t underestimate what you can offer—it can be something simple yet meaningful to your mentor.
My best examples comes from one of my business mentors, who’s also a dear friend of mine. We’ve built a habit of meeting every other week for coffee to discuss our businesses, challenges, and brainstorm solutions. He’s always inspired me, and his stories lift my spirits, reminding me that there’s always a way to succeed. Our conversations often last over three hours.
One day, I worried I was wasting his time. He’s a successful entrepreneur, and I didn’t want to take up too much of his valuable time. His response changed my perspective. He told me: ‘You have no idea what our conversations mean to me. It’s a safe space where we can honestly talk about the difficulties of being an entrepreneur. I don’t have to pretend everything is perfect at all times like I often do at business events. Do you know how rare that is for someone at my stage in my career?’ That’s when I realized the value I was bringing to him—something I had completely overlooked, thinking I had to provide brilliant ideas every time.
Personal Life
In personal life, the same approach applies. Maybe it’s a neighbor who is a skilled gardener, a friend who is an experienced traveler, or a local artist whose work you admire. Find people whose success and values align with your own and ask them to share their insights over a coffee. It doesn’t have to be a formal mentorship, the connection can still provide immense value.
Be Likeable and Build Trust
Mentorship isn’t just about asking someone to guide you—it’s about building a relationship based on mutual trust and respect. You don’t have to explicitly ask someone, “Will you be my mentor?” Instead, focus on being likeable, reliable, and eager to learn.
Dependability is essential. When you consistently show up, follow through on your commitments, and take your growth seriously, potential mentors will notice. Your reliability and dedication invite them to invest in your development because they see you as someone who values their time and expertise.
Equally important is being approachable. People are more likely to mentor those they enjoy spending time with. By maintaining a positive attitude and showing genuine interest in their experiences, you create opportunities for mentorship to blossom naturally. Friendly, sincere interactions—whether at work, in a class, or at an event—often lead to deeper connections.
Above all, show an eagerness to learn. Mentors are drawn to those who are genuinely committed to their own growth. How many times has my dance teacher praised my hard work on social media, expressing how proud she was to have initiated my progress? When you actively seek challenges and apply the advice you receive, the relationship deepens. Make your mentor proud of their decision to help and support you!
Commit and Over-Deliver!
Finding mentors is the easy part—getting them to stick around and fully commit to mentoring you is where the challenge comes in. A lot of that depends on you as the student. No matter if it’s in your career or personal life, you have to show you’re worth their time. Be prepared, be reliable, and always over-deliver. If your mentor sees that you’re serious about your growth and willing to put in the effort, they’re more likely to keep investing their time and energy in helping you succeed. You can read more about it in this helpful breakdown of how you can maintain commitment as a mentee.
Committing fully also means going the extra mile in unexpected ways. Don’t just meet expectations—anticipate what your mentor might need or how you can add value to the process. For example, if they suggest a task, take it a step further by bringing additional insights or offering to help with something related. This not only shows that you’re invested but also that you’re thinking ahead, which makes you stand out and deepens the trust in the mentor-mentee relationship.
Only Choose the Right Mentors for You
Knowing how to find a mentor is important, but choosing the right person to mentor you is just as crucial. Not every mentor will be a perfect fit, and some might struggle when you start to surpass them. Whether it’s in your career or personal life, you need someone who genuinely wants to see you succeed, not someone who’s just looking out for their own interests.
A poor mentor might feel threatened if you begin to outperform them, while a good one will push you to reach new heights—even if it involves taking risks. The right mentor will challenge and support you, and they’ll be just as excited about your progress as you are, even if it means you eventually outgrow their guidance.
Mentorship is an invaluable resource for both your professional and personal growth. By putting yourself in the right places, showing a genuine desire to learn, and building strong relationships based on trust, you can find mentors who inspire and challenge you. And with the right mindset, these connections can lead to lifelong friendships that enrich your journey in ways you never imagined.
When the time comes, be a good mentor and root for the success of your mentees!
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