Overcoming Fears

How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome as a Multipotentialite Mindset and Habits, Overcoming Fears September 23, 2024 byCharlotte Do you sometimes feel like you’re constantly falling short, no matter how much you achieve? In today’s world, where social media constantly showcases polished lives and picture-perfect achievements, it’s easy to feel like everyone else has it all figured out, leaving you behind. Many of us struggle with self-confidence, particularly when imposter syndrome sets in. I have dealt with this pervasive feeling first-hand; it can make even the most accomplished individuals feel inadequate and undeserving of their success. Understanding Imposter Syndrome Imposter syndrome is not just a momentary feeling of doubt or a bad day. It’s a persistent, internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud.” We are terrified that one day, everyone will wake up and realize “the truth”. Despite clear accomplishments, those suffering from imposter syndrome believe they don’t deserve their achievements and attribute any success to luck or external factors, rather than their own hard work and talent. This mindset can have a detrimental impact on self-esteem, mental health, and career growth. Interestingly, imposter syndrome tends to be more prevalent among high achievers and those who have excelled in multiple areas. Emilie Wapnick dives into how multipotentialites may be more likely to experience impostor syndrome in this article.  Instead of feeling proud of their broad range of talents, they question whether they truly belong. When you feel like an impostor, you constantly hear that voice whispering in your head, “You’re not good enough. Sooner or later, everyone will figure it out.” And this isn’t just limited to one area of life—it can sneak into our professional lives, personal relationships, and creative pursuits. Societal Pressures and Personal Fears Several societal pressures and personal fears contribute to our feelings of inadequacy. We often feel pressured to specialize or conform to societal norms. Society frequently encourages us to “pick a lane” and stay in it, pushing the narrative that being a jack-of-all-trades makes us somehow less accomplished than those who focus deeply on one area. How many times have I told myself that not being an expert in any particular field meant I was good for nothing? I feel this especially strongly at social gatherings, where conversations inevitably shift toward work or passions, and I hear people proudly sharing how knowledgeable they are in their specialized area. Don’t get me wrong—I think it’s awesome when people are so passionate about something and become experts in their field. I always take these moments as opportunities to learn new things and lean into their passion. But that nagging sense of inadequacy often creeps in, making me feel like I don’t belong because I don’t have a deep well of expertise to draw from in one specific area. This is when imposter syndrome tends to kick in, fueled by personal fears and insecurities that I’ll be judged for being “less than” or for spreading myself too thin. The truth, however, is that society needs both specialists and generalists. Specialists bring focused expertise to the table, while generalists offer adaptability, creativity, and a broader perspective. In fact, multipotentialites do not need to specialize. Together, these different strengths make for better teams, more innovative solutions, and ultimately, a more well-rounded society. So why do we downplay the value of being a multipotentialite? Ways To Overcome Imposter Syndrome Reframing Negative Thoughts One powerful way to combat imposter syndrome is to reframe the negative thoughts that feed it. Acknowledge your accomplishments, and remind yourself of your capabilities. Instead of allowing self-doubt to run the show, practice self-kindness and self-compassion. This shift in mindset has transformed my internal narrative from “I’m not good enough” to “I’m learning, growing, and improving every day.” It is an ongoing practice. To this day, I have to actively remind myself that being a multipotentialite is a gift. My curiosity, adaptability, and eagerness to learn new things across so many areas are strengths that many people wish they had. Let me clarify. I don’t ever want to fall into the trap of thinking I’m better than others simply because I’m a generalist. The point is not to say that being a multipotentialite is superior to being a specialist—it’s just different. Here’s what I remind myself: I am enough. I don’t need to match anyone else’s level of expertise to belong. We can be complementary. Experts can teach me about their specialized knowledge, and in return, I can help broaden their horizons. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Chances are, someone else is looking at my experiences and thinking my side of the fence is greener too. Embracing Your Unique Journey It’s vital to recognize and celebrate your own unique strengths and talents. Instead of obsessing over what you lack, focus on the breadth of skills and experiences you do have, and the highlight and richness of your own journey. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison, but once you realize comparison is the thief of joy, you can open your eyes to the extraordinary path you’ve carved out for yourself. Now in my early 30s, I feel like I’ve lived many different lives. How many people can say they’ve been both a freelance strategy consultant and a farmer, a startup founder and a flight attendant, a sales manager, and a fruit deliverer? I’ve lived in major cities and remote rural areas across Southeast Asia, Oceania, and Europe. I’ve found love and built friendships with people from entirely different backgrounds than mine, defying the idea that soulmates or close friends must come from the same culture or social circle. Creating an extraordinary life has always been my goal—not necessarily in wealth or fame, but in terms of variety and richness of experience. To me, that’s where the true magic of being a multipotentialite and a lifelong learner lies. Rather than focusing on what I may lack, I choose to celebrate the diversity of experiences and skills I’ve gained. Building Resilience Resilience

7 Strategies To Overcome the Fear of Judgment When Starting Something New Mindset and Habits, Overcoming Fears August 28, 2024 byCharlotte Ever feel paralyzed by the fear of being judged? You’re not alone. We all have that inner voice telling us we’re not good enough or that others are better. This feeling is especially strong when our confidence is low, making it tough to start anything new. But as we gain experience, that fear of judgment fades. Have you ever excelled at something and had someone with much less experience give you unsolicited advice with a know-it-all attitude? It can be irritating—and sometimes laughable. But because you’re confident in your abilities, their judgment doesn’t faze you. So, why does it feel so hard when we’re beginners? It comes from a combination of our lack of self-confidence and our need for others’ approval. As humans, we naturally seek approval, but this becomes unhealthy when it’s excessive. Social media doesn’t make it any easier. We often measure worth by followers and likes, which gives others too much power over us. Today, we’re taking that power back! Here are 7 tips to help you overcome the fear of judgment when starting something new: 7 Tips To Overcome the Fear of Judgment 1. Cultivate Kindness: Judge Less, Live More This may sound counterintuitive—I’m talking about overcoming others’ judgment, yet I’m telling you that you might be judging others too. But the two often go hand in hand. We tend to project our thoughts and actions onto others, assuming they’ll think or behave like us. Reflect on whether you’re sometimes judgmental and practice being happy for others’ successes and supportive of their efforts. Especially as women, I’ve noticed many of my female friends become bitter toward other women’s successes, whether it’s because they looked better, younger, or fitter. This mindset only slows us down. Wasting time hating on others keeps us from moving forward. Showing kindness is much more beneficial and has a direct impact on our positive mindset and happiness. In fact, a Systemic review and meta-analysis (Curry, et al. 2018) showed that “performing acts of kindness boosts happiness and well-being”. A friend of mine made it a daily practice to compliment people on the street. We often voice negative thoughts more than positive ones, so this is an excellent way to give and receive positivity while building self-love and kindness toward others. Remember: Kindness is the strongest shield against judgment. People often judge out of their own insecurities, and kindness can disarm that. 2. Realize Judgment Is Mostly Imaginary This realization was a game-changer for me. People simply don’t have time to worry about anyone but themselves and their close circle. We often give too much power to people who, in reality, don’t care about us at all. Think about that uncomfortable feeling when you’re walking into a quiet room with everyone seated—it feels like all eyes are on you. Now reverse the scenario: if you were one of the seated people, would you even look up? Probably not—you’re likely focused on your phone, a book, or your own thoughts. That’s how little people care when you’re in the center. Even if you trip and fall, how long will people laugh? A few minutes at most. And in a few hours, they won’t even remember who fell. Reversing scenarios like this helps you realize that others don’t care nearly as much as we think, which can be liberating. 3. Dissociate Yourself from Criticism While most judgment exists only in our heads, there are times when we do encounter harsh criticism. The key is to separate yourself from it. Look at criticism objectively. Instead of letting it damage your confidence, use it as an opportunity to identify areas for improvement. When I first started dancing, I often laughed with others at my own awkward movements. I didn’t take it personally; instead, I saw it as feedback on what needed improvement, which paid off over time. And it’s also a chance to practice not taking ourselves too seriously and have a good time at our expense. The more you realize that it’s not you being judged, but specific behaviors or actions, the more effective you can be in your learning process. 4. Journal and Reflect on Your Feelings When you feel judged, take time to reflect on why and how it made you feel. Separate constructive criticism, which helps you grow, from destructive criticism, which only tears you down. Journaling is a great way to clarify your thoughts and strategies. For example: “Someone joked that I looked stiff on my surfboard and said I’d never be able to turn and ride a wave. It made me feel ridiculous, like a failure.” From here, you can break it down: Constructive Criticism: You need to change your form. Destructive Criticism: You’ll never be able to turn and ride a wave. Now, set a strategy: Focus on looking up, adjust your hips for better mobility, and work on your form. By focusing on what you can control, you shift from feeling powerless to empowered. Journaling is beneficial for so many purposes that it deserves many articles of its own. Smiling Mind provides keys to start journaling for mental health and wellbeing. 5. Avoid Comparing Yourself To Others Easier said than done, right? Especially in an age dominated by social media. Every time we log on, we’re bombarded by others’ successes—whether it’s someone achieving mastery in a new skill seemingly overnight or influencers touting their picture-perfect lives. This constant stream of other people’s highlights can make it feel like we’re falling behind. But here’s the truth: Everyone has their own unique path. Just because someone seems ahead doesn’t mean they didn’t face challenges or setbacks along the way. They might have started earlier, devoted more time, or found a method that worked specifically for them. And that’s perfectly okay. What we rarely see are the hours of practice, the failures, and the moments of doubt others experience. Mastery

7 Ways Our Beginner’s Fear Holds Us Back Mindset and Habits, Overcoming Fears August 22, 2024 byCharlotte Starting something new can be a daunting task for many of us, especially as adults. I cannot recall how many times I have said no to great opportunities because I did not feel comfortable with my skills (countless ski trips, dance parties, job opportunities even). Yet, despite the potential rewards, the beginner’s fear that goes with the unknown can often hold us back. Let’s be honest, starting something new… anything new as an adult can be a bit scary at times. It requires us to get out of our comfort zone, which most people do not want to do. I am making it a point to be a forever beginner in many areas of my life as an adult, whether personal or professional. It teaches me so much beyond the mere topic or activity that I learn. I’ve shared some of those takeaways in this blog post. For now, let’s focus on what causes our beginner’s fear. Why Does It Feel So Hard to Be a Beginner as an Adult? It took me until my early 30s to consciously decide I would embrace the beginner mindset. While I am proud that I eventually understood the value of having this mindset across all areas of my life, I couldn’t help but wonder why it took me so long to build the confidence to do so. I took some time to reflect, and a few reasons became obvious, which I am sure will be relatable to many. Here are seven reasons why we might be scared of starting something new: 7 Ways Our Beginner’s Fear Holds Us Back from Learning New Things 1. Comfort in Familiarity From an evolutionary standpoint, Humans are more comfortable with what they’re familiar with. This instinct stems from the early days of human existence when survival depended on recognizing and sticking to what was safe and known. In ancient times, those who were cautious and wary of potential dangers in their environment were more likely to survive and pass on their genes. Unfamiliar environments, animals, or food sources could present threats, making it natural for humans to prefer what they knew and understood. This ingrained tendency to stick with the familiar often prevents us from venturing into new territories, even when the new opportunity might offer great benefits or rewards. The Vector Impact explains it well in this article. 2. Impostor Syndrom and Gender Stereotypes Gender-based issues present specific challenges. Men face their own struggles, which I can’t fully understand since I haven’t experienced them first-hand. One example is how some men have their masculinity or sexuality questioned for exploring artistic activities, which is ridiculous and must stop. For women, we often limit ourselves due to impostor syndrome. It’s that voice making us doubt our place in certain spaces, telling us we’re less deserving than others. I know it all too well, and many can relate. It was loud when I launched my business or even started dancing. Impostor syndrome makes us compare ourselves to others, doubting our abilities. Its effect is real—hesitation to move forward due to a lack of confidence can prevent progress or improvement. It often shows up in environments where we feel different from most peers like we don’t belong. This is why women tend to experience it more frequently than men, as we face strong biases, societal expectations, and discrimination. When we’re expected to fail at something simply because, you know… “women aren’t good at this,” we face two challenges: learning something new and overcoming others’ biases. 3. Beginner’s Fear of Judgement Deep inside us, whether we admit it or not, is a fear of being judged by others. We are social beings, and despite many mentors and coaches all over the internet encouraging us to only look inward and disregard others’ opinions, it is easier said than done! Starting something new can magnify this anxiety. It’s a good direction to strive to care less about what people may think of us and more about how we feel about ourselves, but it takes a lot of time to get there, and that’s not something that is spoken about so often. Trying something unfamiliar places us in the spotlight, exposing us to the opinions, critiques, and sometimes harsh judgments of others. The beginner’s fear of making mistakes in front of others, or appearing inadequate, can be overwhelming and discouraging. However, other people’s judgment is not something that should be rejected as a whole without seeing the benefits of it. After all, improvement partly comes from listening to constructive criticism. Not all criticism is constructive, but what if there were techniques that we could all work on to turn all opinions in our favor? You can find some concrete steps to overcome the fear of judgment that have worked for me in this blog. 4. Beginner’s Fear of Failure and Limiting Beliefs I tend to separate the fear of judgment from the fear of failure. The latter comes more from within, as it is usually rooted in our own limiting beliefs and lack of self-confidence. In short, our own insecurities often make us fear that we will not make it, while the judgment of others reinforces them. Fear of failure can be very debilitating in its most severe form, called Atychiphobia. You can read more about it in this detailed blog post by Calmer You. Sadly, our limiting beliefs tend to amplify as we grow older and become adults. The more time passes, the more I keep thinking, “What’s the point of starting X activity? Usually, people who do it are already experts at it at my age. The younger you start, the better. It’s going to be much harder to learn as an adult.” And I am not alone! A study conducted in the US showed that “1 in 3 Americans were found to be scared of failure (31%)”. While it is true that certain